what to think when it all goes to hell
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Mar. 4th, 2006 | 03:39 am
music: groove salad
right now is one of the most calm moments of my life. i started the school semester easily and it quickly grew into a mass of chaos that i handled but it always felt just barely out of reach. not days or weeks of having a grasp on things, but quite litterly hours. right now however, im excited to get back to that because it means i will be that much closer to finishing up school. right now, i can handle anything with problem or fail. big or small, it would just take some planning and resources. not recieving perfect scores doesnt bother me right now because in the long run it doesnt matter. i can handle whatever will be thrown at me until the next time im perfectly calm. when i get back, there are a lot of things to get done but with organization and persistence, it will be done. i also need to rework how i handle the entire xbox mafia. it has quickly gotten out of hand with ppl calling me over dumb shit when i dont have time to be sparing to simple questions that a google search, or less, could have found. i will deal less with the mafia and work, a touch less with school and hunt for a career job/internship. ive been holding myself back from really achieving what i should be recieving. in this near perfect state of calm, i can see that right now, but when the shit gets thick, it will be lost again. this is why im writing this, a reminder if you will, of my thoughts right now. a reminder that, when it all goes to hell, ive seen what i need to do, and to not lose my way. almost sounds like a religious thing but rest assured its not.. it just makes sense in my head. i need less time in front of the computer, aimlessly waiting for news to happen and take a proactive approach to learning new things, meeting new people, and searching for that next step. this is what i will remember.