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trap or die

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Oct. 31st, 2005 | 11:25 pm
mood: annoyedannoyed
music: rain outside

i broke my rule and its coming back to bite me in the ass. the rule itself is inconsequencial as much as the result. the result is me furthing wishing to be away from the high school envirnment that is the mall. the rule is not becoming interested in someone that works in the mall. theres a number of reasons why however number 1 is by far, if/when shit goes bad, your work isnt going in the shitter. that, and all the dumb talking that one can assume will happen with a large number of bored employees all jammed into one huge metal structure. bottom line, words and actions dont match up and lets say actions speak louder. i guess it wouldnt be nearly as detrimental if it wasnt for some of the talks we had about what we wanted from each other, life, etc. using the same network of bored employees in a huge metal structure, i see that i kinda was a pawn, a toy if you will. my use unknown but sometimes there just isnt. now, when shit like this goes down, for the love of god at least be upfront and say so but apparently that as well is impossbile. hence, high school. one game i dont play is drama but that seems to be the language of so many people. now, i could be completely blowing this out of a proper context but i figure getting a straight answer, no matter what it is, is better than a cold shoulder. whatever. sure, it could still happen.. a simple conversation, but personally i think im past caring.. just need to get everything else to follow. i cannot describe the sheer joy that would be bestowed upon me when i get out of the mall.

i wish i could remember exactly who said this, but to paraphrase, the greatest human shortcoming is to settle for too little.

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